Worked hard all the week. Am growing more nervous as the dies fatalis [fateful day] is approaching.
We were beaten again in a hurling-match. We are now so used to defeat that we took it quite stoically. But on the whole sporting of this kind is most demoralising. When our fellows are getting the upper hand we cheer and rejoice most exultantly, but when we are getting beaten we look on with black hatred in our hearts. Talk about the good moral effect of taking defeat with good grace is all rot. The ‘grace’ is only outward. Inwardly we always burn with fury. It is our nature.
For once my comp. on ‘Nature Study’ pleased Fr. Dalton. I brought into it a lot of Keats. I am resolved to go through a fine study course of reading during the summer hols., Ruskin, Carlyle, Keats and every good book I can lay hands on.
Played for Fr. Pat. He was delighted. Am growing more self-confident.
Am cursed with a furious blush which comes on whenever I grow in the least self-conscious. Nervousness, I suppose, but it is both awkward and disgusting.
Poor Joe Mangan came for tea. He was sent home a week ago by Col. Brase, ((Colonel Fritz Brase (1875-1940), German bandmaster and composer in the service of the Kaiser, after the first world war music director of the Berlin police, in 1923 accepted the post of director of the newly founded Irish Army School of Music. He had a decisive influence on the musical life of Dublin. He established four military bands, and took the No. 1 Band on tours throughout Ireland. He organised schools concerts, founded the Dublin Symphony Orchestra, the Dublin Philharmonic Society, organised and conducted symphony concerts in Dublin, did extensive broadcasting. He became a Nazi sympathiser but as an Irish army officer, was not permitted to become involved in politics.)) who did not seem to think him suitable for an army band. Joe had first thought to be a Doctor of Music and to practise here, but went to Dublin some months ago to train for bandmaster. Now he is stranded without Matric. and is taking to office-work. He told us that Brase is a tyrant, both feared and loved. He is starting a glorious symphony orchestra, possessing, besides the No. 1 Band, something like 60 violins etc.
Read in ‘Seven Roman Statesmen’ the doings of Crassus. He was what we would call here ‘a hardy boy’. His amateur fire-brigade, his slave school, his knowledge of the citizens’ names by which he gained popularity through his salutations, his public, hypocritical embrace of Pompey, all these make most interesting and to me amusing reading.
